One day, Mulla Naseeruddin went to a coffee shop and ordered coffee.
He sipped it and made a face !!!
He called the waiter.
Naseeruddin asked the waiter, " What's wrong with the coffee ?? "
Waiter : It's the same coffee we serve everyone .....
Naseeruddin : Then why is it cold ??
Did someone drink from it already ??!!
In the village, everyone knew how silly is Mulla Naseeruddin.
One day villagers decided to find a bride for Naseeruddin to marry.
As Naseeruddin acts silly, villagers themselves have fixed a bride and made Naseeruddin to get married to that girl.
Now 2 days have been passed after marriage.
Wife of Naseeruddin gave birth to a baby !!!!
As soon as Naseeruddin came to know of this news, he hurriedly came with pen and paper near the new born.
Everyone questioned him about this behaviour.
Naseeruddin said,
If a child can born in just 2 days after marriage instead of 9 months, he must be able to read and write by this time !!!!
Mulla Naseeruddin was going to city for some work.
As he was going by walking, it was getting dark. He decided to spend night in the nearby village.
But he didn't know that the villagers are stingy. None of them agreed to accommodate him nor they give food.
Naseeruddin was carrying a pot with him. He ignited fire at the middle of the village.
Poured some water to the pot. As the water was boiling, he fetched a stone of medium size.
As the curious villagers were watching, he put the stone inside the boiling water !!!!
One of the villagers asked him, What is he doing ???
Naseeruddin replied, I am preparing delicious stone soup !!!!
Villagers didn't hear of that soup till now.
They all stood and watched Naseeruddin preparing the stone soup !!!!
Naseeruddin smiled and said if he could find a little salt, soup would be ready in 15 minutes !!!!
One villager hurriedly went home and brought salt.
Meanwhile Naseeruddin had taken out the stone from the pot and threw it away !!!
As the villager brought salt , Naseeruddin said What is he preparing now is the favourite stone soup of Sultan
But he has forgot to add some vegetables and chilly powder !!!!
Soon all of those appeared before him and Naseeruddin successfully prepared delicious vegetable soup .
He shared and had the soup with gathered villagers.
Villagers still think that they had delicious stone soup !!!!
Once Mulla Naseeruddin stole into a farm to fetch some melons.
But owner of the farm spotted him.
Owner asked Naseeruddin for the reason to come ?
Naseeruddin lied that he has come to relieve himself from the nature 's call !!!
Owner didn't believe Naseeruddin.
Owner asked Naseeruddin to show the place where he has done it !!!!
Naseeruddin showed a heap of cow dung.
Owner protested saying it as cow dung !!!
Naseeruddin shot back saying,
" you didn't allow me to do in the human way. What to do ???!!!!"
Mulla Naseeruddin was seen riding his donkey while carrying a heavy bundle of wood on his own head !!!
Puzzled friend asked Naseeruddin, why he didn't put the wood on donkey instead of carrying on his head ??
Naseeruddin replied,
" poor donkey is already carrying me. I wanted to help it by sharing the load of wood. That's why I am carrying it on my head !!!! "
Wife of Mulla Naseeruddin had asked her husband to bring bread from nearby bakery.
When Naseeruddin reached the bakery, there was a long queue of people buying the bread.
Naseeruddin thought of a plan to clear the queue !!!!
He said to fellow man loudly that king is distributing free bread to everyone in the palace !!!!
Listening to that, all the people standing in the queue rushed towards palace to get free bread.
Queue is now cleared !!!!
Naseeruddin went forward to buy the bread.
When he was about to pay the money, thought came to his mind,
What is he doing here when they are distributing free bread at the palace ???!!!
Soon Naseeruddin was seen running towards palace !!!!!
After coming to know that, it was a rumour that they are giving free bread to everyone, people were angry.
When Naseeruddin has also joined them, they all started beating Naseeruddin black and blue !!!!!
Mulla Naseeruddin was eagerly trying to enter the palace as he was about to tell a good news to King.
King was indeed very happy by listening to the news.
King asked Naseeruddin to ask anything as the reward.
Naseeruddin said he wants 50 lashes !!!!
Confused King tried to ask for the reason.
Naseeruddin was adamant about the reward he wants.
King agreed and ordered that Naseeruddin be beated.
When 25 strokes have been administered, Naseeruddin said STOP !!!!
Naseeruddin said, " Give the remainings lashes to watchman in the front door as I promised him to give the 50% of reward I would get if he allows me to go inside the court !!!!! "
A friend came near Mulla Naseeruddin.
Friend : if you tell me what is inside my pocket, I will give all the eggs to you !!!!"
Naseeruddin thought for some time.
Naseeruddin : Give me some clue !!!
Friend : It look like an egg.
Inside it is yellow and white.
Naseeruddin : Is it some sort of cake ??!!
Naseeruddin could not guess ......
Mulla Naseeruddin was invited to attend a religious gathering along with a priest and a yogi.
After the gathering, one of the devotees offered a piece of cake to them.
Now cake piece is only one, but they are 3 !!!!
As it was late at the night, all of them decided to sleep and whoever is going to have a good dream, that fellow will have the cake.
Likewise , all of them went to bed.
Next day morning, they started to share their dream.
Priest said, " I met Jesus Christ in my dream. He bestowed his blessings on me."
Yogi said, " I dreamt to have complete nirvana."
Now it is the turn of Naseeruddin.
He said,
" Even I met a prophet in my dream.
He was saying,
Get up Naseeruddin........
Get up..........
Go and eat that piece of cake right now !!!! "
Wife of Mulla Naseeruddin was reading the news paper while her husband was not around.
She was shocked by reading obituary column about her.
Taking it lightly, she called her husband to say about her obituary column in news paper.
Listening to her, Naseeruddin said,
" Oh Really !!! First tell me from where you are talking ???"
Then I will tell you whether you are dead or not !!!!! "
A guest was staying at Mulla Naseeruddin 's house for some days.
One night he felt the urge to urinate.
Noticing that Naseeruddin is still awake, guest asked Naseeruddin to pass the lantern which is at his right side.
Naseeruddin shot back saying, Are you mad ?? It is too dark to recognise my right side from the left .....!!!!!!
Once a friend asked Mulla Naseeruddin,
" What is important in life ?? "
Naseeruddin replied,
" Most important thing in life is to know what is important thing for life !!!!"
Once a friend asked Mulla Naseeruddin his age.
Naseeruddin replied that he is 3 years younger than his brother.
Confused friend asked Naseeruddin that last year he had said he is 2 years younger than his brother
Naseeruddin said " But a year has passed since then. Isn't it ???!!!"
A friend called Mulla Naseeruddin,
Friend : Naseeruddin, my wife always argue with me. What should I do ???
Naseeruddin : I really don't know.
But I can give you advice .
Never argue with your wife .......
Because she is always right !!!!!
A friend of Mulla Naseeruddin came near him and asked him a question.
Friend : Naseeruddin, is it better to give or receive ???
Naseeruddin : It's always better to receive.
Then only you can give !!!!
One day morning, Mulla Naseeruddin was busy doing some repair works on his roof top.
That time a stranger came and called his name.
Naseeruddin from the roof top itself, asked the stranger for the reason.
Stranger politely asked him to get down and have a word with him.
Naseeruddin agreed and came down.
That time stranger requested Naseeruddin to lend some money to him.
Naseeruddin thought for a moment and asked him to come to rooftop along with him.
Likewise, both of them reached the roof top.
As soon as they reached rooftop, Naseeruddin said, My answer is no ....!!!!
Listening to that, stranger asked him , Why didn't you tell the reply when we both were down ????
Naseeruddin smiled and said, You could have said the same request when I was on roof top !!!!
Mulla Naseeruddin and his friend stopped near a cafe to have drink.
Friend ordered a cup of milk , saying that both of them can share the milk half.
Naseeruddin ageed.
When the cup of milk came , friend wanted Naseeruddin to drink his half of milk first.
Confused Naseeruddin asked for the reason.
Friend replied that He has a small sachet of sugar which lasts for only one person.
He likes to have the milk with sugar.
Thats why he wants Naseeruddin to have the milk first so that he can have remaining milk with sugar !!!!
Naseeruddin understood that the friend dont want to share the milk with sugar.
Naseeruddin directly went to kitchen and returned back holding something in hand.
Naseeruddin said to friend ,
All right !!! I will drink my part of the milk first.
But i like to have the milk with salt !!!!!
Saying this , he mixed the entire packet of salt in the glass of milk !!!!
Mulla Naseeruddin was asked about the secret of his long married life.
Naseeruddin replied,
I have been married for 60 years .
Every morning I get up and say to my wife,
You were right , my dear !!!!
Once both Naseeruddin and his friend were quarrelling.
Friend called Naseeruddin that he smell worst than a goat .!!!
Naseeruddin went near the judge to file a case of slander against his friend.
Judge ordered both Naseeruddin and the goat to come to court.
First judge went near goat to smell and he got fainted when smelling !!!
After some time , judge called Naseeruddin near him to do testing of smell
When Naseeruddin was nearing him ,
both goat and judge got fainted !!!!
One fine day , Mulla Naseeruddin decided to teach his donkey how to fly!!!
He along with donkey went to the terrace.
Standing on the edge of the terrace, he just gave a little push to animal
Donkey was in the air . Poor animal was searching for something to hold on.
On the other side , Naseeruddin was seen yelling at his donkey to fly !!!
Just in seconds , dead body of the donkey was on ground
Seeing that , Naseeruddin murmured to himself ,
’ I must had taught him how to land on ground safely !!! "
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