What came up in your dream ???

 Mulla Naseeruddin was invited to attend a religious gathering along with a priest and a yogi.

After the gathering,  one of the devotees offered a piece of cake to them. 

Now cake piece is only one, but they are 3 !!!!

As it was late at the night, all of them decided to sleep and whoever is going to have a good dream, that fellow will have the cake. 

Likewise , all of them went to bed. 

Next day morning, they started to share their dream. 

Priest said,  "  I met Jesus Christ in my dream. He bestowed his blessings on me."

Yogi said, " I dreamt to have complete nirvana."

Now it is the turn of Naseeruddin. 

He said,

" Even I met a prophet in my dream.

He was saying, 

Get up  Naseeruddin........ 

Get up.......... 

Go and eat that piece of cake right now !!!! "

From where are you calling ?????

 Wife of Mulla Naseeruddin was reading the news paper while her husband was not around.

She was shocked by reading obituary column about her.

Taking it lightly, she called her husband to say about her obituary column in news paper.

Listening to her, Naseeruddin said,

" Oh Really !!! First tell me from where you are talking ???"

Then I will tell you whether you are dead or not !!!!! "

It is too dark.....

 A guest was staying at Mulla Naseeruddin 's house for some days.

One night he felt the urge to urinate. 

Noticing that Naseeruddin is still awake, guest asked Naseeruddin to pass the lantern which is at his right side. 

Naseeruddin shot back saying,  Are you mad ?? It is too dark to recognise  my right side from the left .....!!!!!! 

What is most important in life ???

 Once a friend asked Mulla Naseeruddin,

"  What is important in life  ??  "

Naseeruddin replied,

"  Most important thing in life is to know what is important thing  for life  !!!!"

Naseeruddin's mathematics

 Once a friend asked Mulla Naseeruddin his age.

Naseeruddin replied that he is 3 years younger than his brother. 

Confused friend asked Naseeruddin that last year he had said he is 2 years younger than his brother 

Naseeruddin said  " But a year has passed since then. Isn't it  ???!!!" 

Advice from Mulla Naseeruddin

 A friend called Mulla Naseeruddin,

Friend  :  Naseeruddin, my wife always argue with me.  What should                      I do ???

Naseeruddin  :   I really don't know.

                                But I can give you advice .

                                 Never argue with your wife .......

                                 Because she is always right   !!!!!

Is it better to give or receive ??

 A friend of Mulla Naseeruddin came near him and asked him a question.

Friend  :  Naseeruddin, is it better to give or receive  ???

Naseeruddin  :  It's always better to receive.

                               Then only you can give  !!!!

Tit for tat......

 One day morning, Mulla Naseeruddin was busy doing some repair works on his roof top.

That time a stranger came and called his name. 

Naseeruddin from the roof top itself, asked the stranger for the reason.

Stranger politely asked him to get down and have a word with him. 

Naseeruddin agreed and came down. 

That time stranger requested Naseeruddin to lend some money to him. 

Naseeruddin thought for a moment and asked him to come to rooftop along with him. 

Likewise, both of them reached the roof top. 

As soon as they reached rooftop, Naseeruddin said,  My answer is no  ....!!!!

Listening to that, stranger asked him , Why didn't you tell the reply when we both were down  ????

Naseeruddin smiled and said,  You could have said the same request when I was on roof top  !!!! 

How to drink milk?

 Mulla Naseeruddin and his friend stopped near a cafe to have drink.

Friend ordered a cup of milk , saying that both of them can share the milk half.

Naseeruddin ageed.

When the cup of milk  came , friend wanted Naseeruddin to drink his half of milk first.

Confused Naseeruddin asked for the reason.

Friend replied that He has a small sachet of sugar which lasts for only one person.

He likes to have the milk with sugar.

Thats why he wants Naseeruddin to have the milk first so that he can have remaining milk with sugar   !!!!

Naseeruddin understood that the friend dont  want to share the milk with sugar.

Naseeruddin directly went to kitchen  and returned back holding something in  hand.

Naseeruddin said to friend ,

All right  !!! I  will drink my part of the milk first.

 But i like to have the milk with salt   !!!!!

Saying this ,  he mixed the entire packet of salt in the glass of milk  !!!!

Secret of long married life

 Mulla Naseeruddin was asked about the secret of his long married life.

Naseeruddin replied,   

I have been married for 60 years .

Every morning I get up and say to my wife,

You were right , my dear   !!!!

Naseeruddin and goat

 Once both Naseeruddin and his friend were quarrelling.

Friend called Naseeruddin  that he smell worst than a goat .!!!

Naseeruddin went near the judge to file a case of slander against his friend.

Judge ordered both Naseeruddin and the goat to come to court.

First judge went near goat to smell and he got fainted when smelling !!!

  

After some time , judge called Naseeruddin near him to do testing of smell 

When Naseeruddin was nearing him ,

                          both goat and judge got fainted  !!!!

Naseeruddin and his flying donkey

 One fine  day , Mulla Naseeruddin decided to teach his donkey how to fly!!!

He along with donkey went to the terrace.

Standing on the edge of the terrace, he just gave a little push to animal 

Donkey was in the air . Poor animal was searching for something to hold on.

On the other side , Naseeruddin was seen yelling at his donkey to fly  !!!

Just in seconds , dead  body of the donkey was on ground 

Seeing that , Naseeruddin murmured to himself  , 

’ I must had taught him how to land on ground safely  !!! "

.

The reason for quarrelling

 Two men were quarrelling raucously in front of Mulla Naseeruddin 's house during midnight.

Unable to sleep, Naseeruddin wrapped up a quilt around his shoulders and rushed outside. 

As Naseeruddin tried to talk to them, one of the duo snatched quilt of Naseeruddin and both fled away.

Naseeruddin went back to his house and his wife asked the reason for quarrelling??

Naseeruddin replied, 

It must be my quilt. 

One of them snatched my quilt and both of them ran away. 

With that, quarrel got ended !!!! 

Diplomatic answer of Naseeruddin

 Mulla Naseeruddin was contesting for the post of Mayor.

After making a rousing speech at the rally, he asked the audience if they have doubts ??

One of the audience stood up and asked Do he drink alcohol  ??

Naseeruddin thought for a while and said, 

That depends......

On whether my answer leads to disqualification or an invitation  !!!! 

Finding the lost turban

 Mulla Naseeruddin used to wear a costly turban.

One day it was lost !!!!

Naseeruddin was confident that he will find the lost turban as he has offered a reward of one gold coin for the finder.

But turban is more costly than reward. 

Friend asked Naseeruddin, " what if the finder realise it's worth ??"

Naseeruddin said, " I have thought of that.

That's why I announced it as a dirty, old turban  !!!!

Beard of Naseeruddin

 Mulla Naseeruddin has a long beard . But Naseeruddin is not happy about that 

He is always complaining about his beard with his friend , describing how much hot and itchy it is.

His friend got tired of hearing about it always.

So one day his friend suggested ,  if you hate your beard so much , why don't you shave it off  ???

Naseeruddin replied with a devilish twinkle in his eyes ,

My wife hates it too   !!!!

Which one is true ??

 Friend of Mulla Naseeruddin came near him and asked him to to help him finding his donkey as he lost it.

Naseeruddin replied , I will definitely help you. But tell me one thing.

Did you lose the donkey or

Did the donkey lose you  ???!!

Friend didn't know what to say ??

Naseeruddin explained...... 

If you lost the donkey, we will search for it. 

But if donkey lost you, then donkey will find its way to home   !!!!

Clever answer by Mulla Naseeruddin

 Once Mulla Naseeruddin was invited by a rich friend to his house to have a feast.

As they  sat down to eat, rich friend asked Naseeruddin,

Have you ever seen a huge feast like this, in your life ???? 

Naseeruddin had a good look around the hall and said,  Yes  !!!

Listening to that, rich friend was taken aback.  He gathered himself after some time and asked Where  ???

Naseeruddin replied,   In my dreams  !!!! 

Relatives of donkey

 One day , Mulla Naseeruddin loaded a heavy bag of vegetables on the back of his donkey and set out for the market to sell them.

But already tired donkey didn't put a step forward  !!!

Naseeruddin tried to persuade the donkey . But when it got failed , he started to beat the animal

Soon many people gathered around them and started abusing Naseeruddin.

One of them said , How can you beat a speechless animal  ??

Another one said , Naseeruddin must be punished for beating the animal .

Naseeruddin listened to everything that people are saying .

Naseeruddin went near the donkey and said, If I would have known that you have these many relatives , I would not dared to beat you up  !!!!

Listening to that, gathered people soon vacated the place  !!!! 

Haven't you seen a fool ??

 Mulla Naseeruddin and his wife were returning from the shop after buying the delicate glasswares.

Naseeruddin was carrying the glassware but he dropped them in the street.

Every thing got smashed into pieces. 

Naseeruddin 's wife was very angry and started calling Naseeruddin a fool !!!

Soon crowd gathered around them.

By seeing them, Naseeruddin howled,

What's the matter with you guys ??!!

Haven't you seen a fool before    !!!!!