ನನ್ನದಲ್ಲದ ಕನ್ನಡ ಚುಟುಕು

 ಮೊದಲೇ ಹೇಳಿದಂತೆ ಇದು ನನ್ನದಲ್ಲದ ಕನ್ನಡ ಚುಟುಕು.

ಚಂದನ ವಾಹಿನಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಸಾರವಾಗುತ್ತಿರುವ ಹರಟೆ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದು.

ದಂತ ಕಥೆಗೂ ದುರಂತ ಕಥೆಗೂ ಏನು ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸ  ??

 ನಾವೇ ಹಲ್ಲು ಕೀಳಿಸಿದ ರೆ    ದಂತ ಕಥೆ

ಬೇರೆಯವರು  ಹಲ್ಲು  ಉದುರಿಸಿದರೆ   ದುರಂತ ಕಥೆ !!

Story of Sudarshana Chakra

  God Vishnu has Sudarshan chakra in his hand .

It is believed that Sudarshan chakra is as powerful as Trishul of God Shiva.

God Shiva himself granted Sudarshan chakra to God Vishnu.

Story goes like this ....

Devatas are always disturbed by asuras attacking heaven repeatedly.

Once asuras attacked heaven . Devatas found that the weapons they are having, are not suitable for the fighting .

They have prayed to God Vishnu so that he can help them in the matter .

God Vishnu too expressed his helplessness. But he said he will  perform special meditation to please God Shiva to grant him a weapon that is unstoppable by anyone.

God Vishnu decided to perform a special ritual by offering 1000 lotuses to God Shiva.

Like wise he had presented 999 lotuses to God Shiva. 

That time God Shiva decided to test the power of faith of God Vishnu. 

God Vishnu needed a last lotus to complete the ritual. But he could not find that . 

Everyone searched everywhere but it is of no use. 

God Vishnu didn't want to stop the ritual incomplete. 

God Vishnu has the name of  Kamala nayana. Meaning having lotus eyes. 

So for that last lotus, God Vishnu presented his one eye itself. Thus completing the sacrifice of 1000 lotuses. 

 By this, God Shiva got pleased and presented God Vishnu with sudarshan chakra, the unstoppable. 

Why do mobile phone batteries get swollen ??

  Today my mobile phone back cover suddenly got detached by itself   !!!

I showed the backless mobile phone to my mother.

I got a good lecture on how to handle things smoothly !!!!

As I was confident that I didn't  do anything bad to my smart phone,  then why it is showing its inner parts !!!

The smart phone batteries are lithium ion batteries.

If they are over charged or charged too quickly, then metallic lithium starts getting plated on anode of battery.

Hydrogen gas can be released on cathode.

Built up of hydrogen gas is responsible for the swelling of battery.

This swelling causes the over size of battery and hence mobile phone back cover does not  fit in.

By knowing this, I heaved a sigh of relief as I am not responsible for what has happened  !!!!

Now a rubber band is wrapped around the mobile phone  along with back cover   !!! 

What next ??!!

  Akbar was having sleepless nights. Because of this, he was not able to do his work with concentration.

He consulted the Royal doctor and explained his problem. 

Doctor advised him to listen to stories from someone before going to bed. 

Akbar agreed and ordered his courtiers to tell him the story during the night. Each day different courtiers. 

First courtier came and started telling the story.  Akbar was a good listener and he kept on asking what next ?

Though the story got ended, Akbar went on asking what next ??

Courtiers were tired by telling different stories but Akbar was still asking what next ?

They all asked Birbal to help them.

Birbal assured them and next night he went near Akbar to tell the story .

Akbar was very happy by seeing Birbal as the story teller .

Birbal started telling the story .

Once upon a time , there was a Hunter . Once he laid a web to catch the birds by keeping the grains over the web .

Unaware of this , birds thronged over the grains to eat . Suddenly web surrounded them and birds were trapped .

Birbal paused . Akbar asked what next ?

Birbal continued , that time a mouse was passing by . By seeing the condition of birds , it started to make a small hole in the web so that birds one by one slowly can come out .

First bird slowly managed to come out.

Second bird slowly managed to come out.

Third bird slowly managed to come out.

By now , Akbar said what next ?

Birbal continued ,  fourth bird slowly managed to come out.

Fifth bird slowly managed to come out.

By now , Akbar was restless and asked Birbal when will all the birds manage to come out ?

Birbal calmly said , when you stop asking what next !!!

Akbar realised his folly .

Don't tell the truth which is hard to digest....

In a village , there lived an astrologer . 

One of the richmen of the village is his friend.

One day , rich friend asked his astrologer friend to tell how long will he live ?

Astrologer friend studied his friend's horoscope and said he will die after 2 years of his wife's death .

After listening to that , rich friend started to take good care of his wife .

For routine cold of rainy season also , doctor was coming to check the health of wife .

Though all the precautionary measures taken , one day wife of rich man died .

Rich man was devastated . He started to have the hallucinations.

He was imagining that his death is near .

Rich man died soon after his wife's death .

He would have lived longer if the astrologer didn't say that he will die after 2 years of his wife's death.

That's why it is better not to tell the truth which is hard to digest .

Sample of the house !!!!

 Mulla Naseeruddin was trying to sell the newly constructed house.

But he was left with out any success. 

One day he was seen pulling a brick from the wall of the house. 

Surprised as she was,  his wife asked for the reason. 

Naseeruddin replied,

Don't you know   ???

Before buying anything, people ask for the sample  !!

I am just following that !!!! 

Darian gap

  The Darien gap is the 160 km long swath of undeveloped forest and wetlands within Columbia of South America and Panama of Central America.

This gap makes it almost impossible to cross between South America and Central America by road.

Darien gap is extremely  rich in biodiversity.

Darien gap is one of the most dangerous migration routes. 

The migrants coming from Caribbean and south America are heading to southern US border.

Economic insecurity, political upheaval, violence and climate changes are forcing these migrants to risk their lives.

Deep in the jungle, robbery, rape and human trafficking are as dangerous as wild animals, insects and absolute lack of safe drinking water are making people to die.

 But still people are migrating. 

Don't steal !!!!

  Once in Vaikuntha, God Vishnu and Goddess Laxmi were spending time together.

At that time, Vishnu said his plan of visiting earth to his wife Laxmi. 

Hearing that, Laxmi pressurised her husband to take her along with him. 

Vishnu agreed but imposed some restrictions. The restrictions were

1.  She never have to look at the northern direction.

2.  Whatever Vishnu says, Laxmi has to do it. 

Laxmi readily agreed to both the conditions. 

Both husband and wife reached earth. 

Laxmi was very happy as she has come to earth after so many years. 

She was busy looking at the nature and its beauty. 

That time, a nice smell caught her attention. 

The pleasant smell was coming from the nearby house. 

Laxmi hurriedly went near the house. But she had forgotten that the house is in  northern direction and she is not supposed to go there. 

After reaching the house, she found that the smell is coming from the blooming flower of nearby tree. 

Without any hesitation, she plucked the whole flower and came towards her husband Vishnu. 

Vishnu was watching all these. He was unhappy with what his wife has done. 

As soon as Vishnu met Laxmi,  he said Laxmi has to face punishment because

She has gone in northern direction even though she was said not to go. 

She had plucked the flower without taking the permission from owner. 

As the punishment,  Laxmi has to born as the daughter of owner of the flower.

Laxmi returned to Vaikuntha after serving her punishment. 

Why Naseeruddin holds lamp ???

  Naseeruddin was talking with his friends.

He boasted that He can see  in the dark !!!

His friends were not fools. One of them said that he saw him walking down the road holding a lamp , last night.

Naseeruddin replied,

The lamp was not for me.

I was holding it to prevent others colliding  with me  !!!! 

Kids are always kids !!!!

  My nephew Anirudh is a die hard fan of Royal Challengers Bangalore.

Now it is the IPL season. 

Though Bangalore team didn't lift the cup once also in all these years,  Aniruddha is always seen chanting the slogan ee sala cup namde !!!! 

This year also, when IPL was started, Bangalore team won the first match against Mumbai team by 8 wickets !!!!

Aniruddha 's feet were not on the ground.  He was celebrating the win as if the team has won the trophy itself !!!

I wanted to remind him that it could be a one time wonder.

But he was not in the mood to listen.

The next match between Bangalore and Kolkatta had proved me right as Bangalore lost the match.

Now Aniruddha is not talking to me as he thinks that I have a bad mouth   !!!! 

Mulla Naseeruddin and his buffalo

  Mulla Naseeruddin had a buffalo with him. He had purchased it so that he could ride on it.

But looking at the horns of buffalo, he could not dared to sit on it. 

One day he gathered his courage and holding its horns on his hands, he finally sat on its back. 

After sitting down, he exclaimed I am feeling like a king !! 

Buffalo got disturbed by this and vigorously shook its body. 

Naseeruddin flew in the air and fell head foremost into a ditch of mud. 

His wife came running to help him. 

That time, Naseeruddin said this is not the first time that a king got dethroned !!! 

Bheja fry question

  This question was asked on web radio.

A couple has 3 sons.

Each son has a sister, a wife and a child.

How many people are there in the family   ??

Answer 

A couple has 3 sons. Each one of them has a sister.

This is possible only when all of the sons have only one sister.

That means, couple has 4 children. 3 sons and 1 daughter 

Total number of family members, 2 + 4  = 6.

Now each son has a wife and a child. 

That means, 1st son =2 members 

Same way, 3 sons = 6 members. 

First we got number of members as 6 

Now again 6 members. 

Adding both the equation, we get numbers of family members   =  12. 

Zombie drug

  In USA, zombie drugs are creating a havoc.

The drugs which are used as tranquillisers for animals, are getting mixed up with opiods such as heroin.

It gives users a calming sensation and is highly additive.

These drugs in their original form, are not illegal as veterinarians need them.

The drugs are called skin rotting zombie drugs because it has the ghastly side effect of rotting skin at the injection site. 

Why does Bachcha Yadav want to get married ??

 Yesterday's episode of Kapil Sharma Show was hilarious.

The character of Bachcha Yadav comes in the show and he was all prepared to get married !!!!

Kapil wanted to know the reason for this sudden change.

Bachcha Yadav replied

He had ordered the carpenter to make a single cot.

But carpenter gave him the double cot. 

To make the best use of the double cot, Bachcha Yadav is planning to get married as soon as possible !!!! 

How to ask for boons ?? A funny story

  

I read this article on newspaper and found it very funny.  I am sharing that story in my own style. 

A daughter in law was tired of her mother in law's tantrums.

She decided to do penance regarding God Shiva. God Shiva listened to her prayer and asked her what she want?

Before daughter in law say anything, God Shiva made it clear that whatever she asks, her mother in law gets 10 times more than that.

Daughter in law agreed.

Her first wish is to make her beautiful woman.

God Shiva agreed. Her mother in law became 10 times more beautiful than her.

Her second wish is to get 10 crore rupees.

God Shiva agreed and her mother in law got 100 crore rupees.

Her third wish is to get a mild heart attack !!

God Shiva agreed and her mother in law got 10 times more severe heart attack and died instantly  !!!!

With her wisdom, daughter in law got rid of her mother in law and also got 100 crore rupees and also she became beautiful woman.

Moral :  Beware of such ladies  !!!!