A customer went to a tailor shop carrying the dress material with which he wants to stich himself a shirt.
Tailor said stitched shirt will be ready by day after tomorrow.
Customer nodded his head and again came back after 2 days.
Tailor said only 2 works are remaining. Shirt will be ready by day after tomorrow.
Customer went back home.
This dialogue delivery continued for many days.
Frustrated customer asked the tailor what are the 2 works remaining ??
Tailor said Cutting and stitching !!!!!
Saturday's Kapil Sharma Show had funny interaction with audience.
Kapil asked what is the change they want their partners to have ??
One of the audience, a lady, stood up and said that Her husband was talking too much before getting married.
But now he is not talking at all !!!
For that husband replied,
They have done the love marriage.
So, they have finished all the talking before getting married itself !!!
His wife is a banker and he himself is a painter.
According to their professions, he is always in deep thinking and his wife would be always talking !!!
I felt husband is telling the truth.
One more audience got up and said that,
His girlfriend wants him to change his habits, dressing sense etc.
Now she is thinking of leaving him and to move on.
Kapil asked him whether he is ready to change ??
For that boy said yes !!!
Kapil said Change your girlfriend !!!!
Our prime minister Narendra Modi on his USA visit, had gifted a green colour Lab Grown Diamond to US first lady.
What are lab grown diamonds ??
Lab grown diamonds are the man made diamonds obtained under same pressure and heat as in the crust of earth.
They are ecologically friendly as they are free from mining.
They are cheaper than natural diamonds.
Instead of sourced from earth, these diamonds are obtained from the controlled environment of lab.
While natural diamonds take billions of years to form, these diamonds can be produced just in 1 - 2 months !!!
There are 2 methods to create lab grown diamonds.
1. High temperature High pressure
2. Chemical vapour deposition
India is the largest producer of lab grown diamonds.
Recently I remembered this incident.
My nephew Anirudh was studying at LKG.
I asked him this question.
Tell the name of the colour without letter ' e ' in it ???
Being a LKG student, he came with the names of different colours.
He said,
White, Red, Green, Blue
His list got over !!!
I said whatever the name of the colour he said, all have letter ' e ' in them.
I asked him Think, Think......
After a long pause , he said
BLACK !!!
I was impressed.......
I asked him to tell one more colour name.
After a long pause, he said....
PINK !!!!
I am proud of my nephew !!!
For a boy studying at LKG, this is more than enough.
I know there are many colours without letter ' e ' in them.
But for a LKG boy, whatever he said , showed his intelligence level
One sunny afternoon, Mulla Naseeruddin was taking a nap in front of his house.
That time his friends came running calling out his name.
Naseeruddin sat on the bed and questioned his friends.
One of the friends said that there was an accident on the road. Victim looked like Naseeruddin.
That's why all of them have come to meet him.
Listening to them, Naseeruddin asked,
Naseeruddin : was the victim is of my age??
Friends : yes !!
Naseeruddin : was he having a long beard ??
Friends : yes !!
Naseeruddin : what was the colour of his shirt ??
Friends : pink.
Naseeruddin : thank god, it was not me.
I don't have a pink colour shirt !!!
Long ago , there was a rich man.
He had two sons . He had brought up his sons such that they didn't have to struggle at all.
Before they ask , every thing will be infront of them.
This made the boys super lazy.
Their father tried his best to change their mentality but it was fruitless..
Finally , rich man asked his sons to leave the house.
Both the boys left the house. They didn't know where to go.
Like this wandering here and there, they spent whole day.
Now they are getting hungry.
That time , they saw food is being distributed to devotees in a temple.
Seeing that , elder brother suggested that they must disguise themselves as priests.
But the younger one didn't agree to tell lie
Both of them went inside the temple.
As said , elder son introduced himself as priest and said he is the ardent believer of the dirty.
Younger brother said the truth that he is very hungry and wants food.
Listening to them , staff of temple took younger brother to have food.
But said to elder brother that they are arranging a fast till next day evening to all of the priests present there .
Listening to that , elder brother fainted and had a fall .!!!
If he would have told the truth , even he could have enjoyed food .
A lie became heavy on him.
I had to tell this.
Nowadays no one is worried about other people. All are engrossed in their own problems.
But I am not one of them !!!!
I always thought I am special. But everyone were underestimating me.
Till now, situation is like this......
My pet cat was very thirsty.
She is an intelligent cat. She directly went to bathroom.
To her badluck, there was not a trace of water in the bathroom.
As I don't have any useful work to do, nowadays I just keep following her !!!
I felt very bad by looking at her struggle to drink water.
I filled the mug full of water and kept it in front of her.
But she had few sips of water and thanklessly went out of the bathroom holding her tail straight up !!!!
But I was happy that I helped someone in need .....
No.... No.... No claps please !!!!
Once Mulla Naseeruddin went near a rich man.
Rich man : What do you want ?
Naseeruddin : I want some money to buy an elephant !!!
Rich man : If you have no money, you can't afford to keep an elephant
Naseeruddin : I came here to get money, not the advice !!!!
In Saturday 's Kapil Sharma Show, Kapil wanted to know from the
audience whether given free, what they would like to have ??
I thought it as a relatable question as in our state also, government is giving
free offers.
One of the audience stood up and said that she wants free panipuri !!!!
As it is a comedy show, she must have said it in a funny way.
Not thinking about politics and serious matter, I asked the question to myself.
If i were to give the answer in the same way,
I would like to have churmuri for free !!!
Till now, I haven't tasted panipuri.
Panipuri and similar chat items are popular in North India but not in South India.
I like the street style churmuri than any other food items.
Churmuri quenches hunger also and it is very easy to prepare.
Today I am sharing the story of 21st century Mulla Naseeruddin.
Naseeruddin was about to leave the office after a hectic day.
That time his wife called and said that she is having a severe stomach pain.
Tensed Naseeruddin reached the shop of the doctor so that he can take the doctor along with him.
Naseeruddin was about to step inside the shop, his wife again called to say that stomach pain has been subsided.
But also Naseeruddin waited to meet the doctor.
On meeting, Naseeruddin said,
I had come here as my wife was complaining of stomach pain..
But now pain has come down.
So I have come here to say that there is no need to come to my house !!!!
In this blog article, I am sharing the unfortunate condition of a coconut farmer.
That coconut farmer is none other than my father.
I am writing the true experience.
We have a coconut farm having around 22 coconut trees.
We don't put any fertiliser or provide any special treatment to the trees but we water them regularly.
Yesterday itself we had hired a man to pluck the coconuts from the tree by climbing the tree.
Nothing is free !!!!
He said he will charge Rs. 2.50 for every coconut he plucks and throw down from the tree.
It is not so easy to climb up the coconut tree.
Without saying anything, my father agreed.
Since the coconut trees are spread in a large area, my father hired a woman to collect the fallen coconuts.
She said she will charge Rs 1 per coconut.
My father agreed to that also.
Our coconut farm is getting attacked by monkeys every time.
Monkeys jump from one tree to another. They pluck the tender coconuts as their shell is easy to remove.
Monkeys try to drink coconut water. Even they feel thirsty.
Whatever left coconuts are there on the tree, we have to be happy with them.
So yesterday from our coconut garden, we got 200 coconuts.
Expenses coconut tree climber 200 × 2.5 =. 500 rs
Helper 200 × 1 = 200 rs
So total expenses are Rs 700.
As soon as we finished collecting all the coconuts, a coconut vendor came to our house asking if we are interested to sell the coconuts.......
He said he will buy the coconuts with the shell or the skin.
He had brought a van also with him to transport the coconuts right away.
My father was very happy as we don't have to do anything.
Coconut vendor fixed the price as Rs 7 per coconut.
So out of the 200 coconuts, he said he will take only 100 coconuts saying that others are under grown and some are spoilt.
So he is going to give us only Rs 700.
We had incurred the expenses itself as Rs 700 .
My father tried to negotiate with him saying that expenses itself was Rs 700.
Coconut vendor said that Rs 700 is the maximum price he is offering for coconuts with shell.
He also said that if we are not happy, we can contact other coconut vendors.
But no one will offer more than that.
Finally we had no other choice than to sell the coconuts to him.
There is no value for the coconuts with shells.
Peeling off the shells is a tiresome task.
That's why coconuts without shells are costly at the market.
Day before yesterday, cricketers Brett Lee and Chris Gayle had come as the guests at Kapil Sharma Show.
Chris Gayle is a West Indies cricketer.
When I saw him on the show, I thought I am watching a chimpanzee grinning !!!
Chris Gayle throughout the show, he was grinning.
When he was doing that, his all super white teeth were visible.
But both the cricketers were talented other than cricket.
Brett Lee could play guitar and Chris Gayle could rap as well as dance.
But I had a feeling that Kapil Sharma as the host, is doing fruit less attempts that he can not talk in English and also don't understand.
May be their accent is different but we can understand what they mean to say.
I don't think it as funny.
It was the time when Gudiya is preparing to leave for her husband 's house after the marriage.
Gudiya' s brother was crying and he was trying to say something.
It was a very emotional moment.........
Teary eyed Gudiya tried to console her brother..
That time her brother said ,
You are standing on my foot ... !!!!!
Recently I came across this question on web radio.
Question
You are alone in a room.
Room has a door.
On the wall of the room, there are 3 switches.
These switches are connected to 3 bulbs which are at the other side of wall.
You have to tell which switch is for which bulb?
You can go out of the room to check whether the bulbs are glowing, only only once.
How do you do it ???
Listening to the question, I was in the deep thought.
It would be better if there are only 2 switches and 2 bulbs. I would have solved this puzzle in a second. !!
Now how to proceed ?
First switch on two switches.
Let them like that for 5 minutes.
Now out of 2 switches, switch off one switch.
Now remember there is already an untouched switch along with the switch we just have switched off.
Now open the door.
On the other side of wall, one bulb would be glowing as we have kept one switch ON.
So this is the switch for the glowing bulb.
Now there are 2 bulbs which are OFF.
Out of them, one bulb would be hot compared to other bulb as it was ON for 5 minutes.
Hence we can conclude the remaining switch we had used earlier out of 2 switches , is for the hot bulb.
Now the left out bulb is connected to remaining untouched switch.
PROBLEM SOLVED !!!
Mulla Naseeruddin was appointed as the judge of the court.
One day, two people came near him each claiming the ownership of the same donkey.
After listening to their arguments, Naseeruddin said, "I decree that the donkey itself shall serve as the judge.
Whichever one of you donkey goes to, shall be considered as the right ful owner ."
Surprisingly, donkey walked up to Naseeruddin !!!
Without wasting any time,
Naseeruddin said, " Case dismissed !!!"
